That cold I had last week? Turned into a sinus infection. So that was really fun, except for the fact that it wasn’t any fun at all.
On Saturday I dragged my pitiful self to the birthday celebration of one of my best friends to, you know, show support and all. And of course it started out as a sedate, mature lunch and wine-tasting affair. Of course. But then sometime after winery number two we all somehow found ourselves on a sunset booze cruise on the Landshark, and then BAM, before I knew what was happening it was suddenly midnight and I was that girl dancing by herself to “The Way I Are*” at a random bar, and SOMETIMES THESE THINGS JUST HAPPEN, and please stop looking at me that way.
The good news was that when I woke up on Sunday, my sinus infection was miraculously, mysteriously 85% gone. The bad news was that I had a 100% hangover.
I make such interesting decisions sometimes.
Like this bridal shower. Yeah, I’m having a bridal shower. At first I didn’t think I would have a bridal shower. It didn’t seem necessary. But then I had a conversation with my mother that went something like this:
me: “I guess I don’t need a bridal shower.”
my mom: “Why not?”
me: “Well because. That would mean some people would have to come to parties and events on my behalf, like, three times this year.”
my mom: “So?”
me: “… Point taken.”
It’s officially official. My mom just bought her plane ticket out here. She is going to come out in May and spend a long weekend with me and we are going to do this bridal shower thing.
It sounds utterly silly. And I don’t mean that bridal showers and the people who have them are completely redonkulous. It’s just that “lyn” and “bridal shower” together in the same sentence… it seems so foreign. There’s a disconnect. Like I’ve fallen through a rabbit hole and straight into a topsy-turvy alternate universe where nothing is as it seems. Some Alice in Wonderland world where suddenly I’m a B-R-I-D-E and alcohol can inexplicably cure you of illness. And Jon Stewart is my boyfriend.**
I have been invited to exactly two bridal showers in my life. What I remember most about the first one is that I was tasked to make a wedding dress out of toilet paper, and what I remember most about the second one is that the bride’s aunts told hilariously outrageous family stories and there were cupcakes and champagne.
I’ve no clue how to host a bridal shower, but my goal is to err on the side of stories, cupcakes, and champagne.
So this is my plan: I’m going to rent one of those limos that will take you on wine-tasting tours to Santa Ynez valley, and stock it with champagne. One of my brigadiers has a membership with a group of sister wineries, so we can get up to 10 tastings for free at each place. Go team saving money. At the first winery, we’ll have a picnic lunch spread at this great spot they have outdoors. At the second winery, we’ll enjoy homemade dessert (cupcakes?). Yay!
The hilariously outrageous stories will be up to the peeps that come along for the ride. I am going to invite my brigadiers, and a handful of other friends. My mom will be there, the beau’s mom will be there, my aunt and closest cousin will drive up from the Inland Empire. If I’m lucky another aunt and her partner will be able to fly down from Oregon. The rest of my family lives too far away to make it, which will keep the guest list capped at 14.
It all still seems so bizarre. But I made a pledge to embrace the weird earlier this week, and dammit, I’m sticking to my guns.
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow
Will stop this B-R-I-D-E from gettin’ low
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* Note to Timbaland: perhaps a grammar refresher is in order?
** Sorry, beau.
first things first: hands off, bitch. jon stewart is MY imaginary boyfriend!
i will make cupcakes! i will even go find some red food coloring that is not made of ants so i can make red velvet cupcakes! just say the word!
My name also does not belong in the same sentence as wedding shower. But my maid of honor though believes it to be some kind of rite of passage and wants to plan one… I think I’ve talked her down to a small brunch, although hearing your wine-tour plan makes me totally rethink that. That sounds like the best wedding shower ever!
P.S. I think I may have been to the same wedding showers as you.
Having a bridal shower makes me feel all sorts of weird as well. In addition, I will be flying in for my bridal shower, PLUS my mom was trying to talk me into having TWO (which I had to nix for travel purposes). Anyway, it’s very bizarre, but I’m trying to embrace it and I have already made everyone promise there will be no toilet paper dresses and paper plate hats with bows stapled to it (what I was in charge of at the only shower I have ever attended).
So, I thought being the center of attention and all that would be weird for my own shower. But really, it was a really nice party, where I didn’t have to do any of the set up or clean up, and I got to see lots of my friends and family. And there were zero toilet paper brides. I wish I could have another one, but I’m already married and intend to stay that way.
Baby showers, on the other hand… I am not sure I will be as into that gig, based on my experience going to baby showers for others. But maybe I will be surprised.