this is what we get for renting a house with no insulation

It is hot. It is HOT. I can’t tell how hot it really is in our house because the temperature gauge on the thermostat stops at 90. It is so hot my feet are swollen. So are my hands. I broke a sweat this morning while getting dressed. I am currently sweating while lying on the couch. I am afraid my computer is going to melt in a puddle on my lap.

Even a margarita didn’t help.

The heat and life in general are conspiring to make me a non-poster. It’s been a nutty few weeks of balancing overtime at work with a big side job. In truth, wedding planning has ground to a halt. That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped reading the blogs, though. I’ve got a few topics in the works. I will be back soon with… something. Especially since the boy and I have plans to drive up to Santa Cruz/Bay Area to look at venues over Labor Day weekend. Which venues in particular remain to be seen. We haven’t done the research yet! Ha ha ha! Does anyone have any wedding venues recommendations in and around, say, California?

In the meantime, I think i’ll be having frozen yogurt for dinner.

happies

I was wondering whether my maternal grandparents would be able to make it to the hitchin’. They’re not so old (mid 70s) but they’ve definitely slowed down in the past few years. My grandfather is Not So Much into driving these days, for example, especially at night. And they never ever fly, because despite (or perhaps due to) the fact that my grandfather spent most of the Korean war in an airplane, he developed a case of claustrophobia and he can’t abide being in confined spaces from which he can’t easily escape.

But it turns out they’re already planning to make a cross-country drive from Michigan to attend their annual Air Force reunion in California next year. And guess when that’s going to be held? Oh yeah. In September 2010. Looks like that worked out perfectly.

already wistful / to wish impossible things

We’re still over a year out from the wedding, and no plans are even in place. Yet sometimes I’ll be scrolling through a blog featuring some happy couple’s big day, and I’ll feel a twinge of sadness. And not because the photos make their wedding look impossibly cool and endearingly quirky (which, yeah, they invariably do). I just find myself mentally stepping across the screen and inside their shoes, pasting our faces atop their bodies, seeing myself in a dress with some flowers standing next to my man with our people all around and I think dear god no, I never want this to happen. I don’t want this day to come because then it will be capital-O Over. I wish sometimes that I could stop time right here, freeze this moment as it is, so that we will always be looking forward and never backward. And not because the wedding will be my one special beautiful day when all of my princess fairy dreams come true, but because I know this is our one special beautiful day when our friends and family will come together with us in the same place at the same time to celebrate something happy. Fact: we are not going to get married again. Even Moar Important Fact: our people are not going to gather like this again. I covet moments like these. I want to live inside a continuously looping 3-dimensional film reel of these moments. I want to wrap these moments up in satin and put them in my back pocket and uh… never, um, wash or uh, remove the pants ever again.

Ya’ll know I’m getting serious when I lapse into bad allegories.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. Life is meant to be lived, not monumentalized. Life is dirty and messy and imperfect and ever-changing, and therein lies the beauty. I know this, too. Our day will come and go and bleed into other days and we’ll grow and forget some things even as we remember other things. And so on until one day the boy and I will just be pixels assembled into the likenesses of our faces as they were at nearly 30 years old, staring out from a digital photo album at a great great grandchild who will never know us, let alone the moments of our wedding day. Nothing is permanent, nor is it meant to be.

That’s okay. Because even though they’ll be gone, at least I am here now, experiencing these things. Even if for just one moment, one day. And I think in the end, that one day—amongst the others—will be enough for me.

sometimes i fail at being on the internet

Wow. It has been, like, two weeks since I last blogged. Where was I? I was living life, I suppose. I know this sounds Cracky McBonkers, but sometimes life happens offline. I KNOW RIGHT??? Here is where I do all my life and wedding planning, but I have to go OUT THERE to actually live it and do it. Something is not syncing up correctly. Perhaps I should reinstall my operating system.

Annnd… check. Weekly internet joke quota has been filled.

One of the things I was doing during all this time was looking at venues with the boy. In Monterey. Let me just say that I am in love with all of Monterey’s historical parks and buildings. It has a figurative sh*t ton of them. We were standing in a museum, being helped by a kind elderly docent. She whipped out a large map and circled our location and the location of another building we wanted to see. Then she just kept going. “You might want to stop here (circle), this is only two blocks down, and over here is the first house that was built in Monterey (circle), that’s just three blocks over, and while you’re there you might want to stop in and check out the first theatre in Monterey (circle), that’s across the street… “ And so on.

corner of the courtyard
corner of the courtyard
center of the courtyard
center of the courtyard

We did. We looked at all of them, and then some. The one that stood out above the rest was the Memory Garden. It’s a courtyard surrounded by adobe walls, with magnolia trees wrapped up in lights. It’s got a lot of built-in character, and it’s fairly inexpensive to rent, too.

A couple of guys were just starting to set up tables for a wedding reception when we first got there, and they said we could come back a couple hours later to check it out when it was closer to being done. We did, and it was awesome to see how it could potentially look for our own wedding in person.

As with everything, though, the Memory Garden has drawbacks. For one, the venue is located in a very touristy area surrounded by pricey hotels. For another, we didn’t find anywhere suitable to having an after party. Also, it’s right near the water and I’m kind of worried about the fog/cold element, even in the fall.

Not least is the fact that it’s run by the California State Parks, so… who knows if they might end up shutting it down or not.

So that’s that. We have one potential so far. Time to keep looking. Keep on keepin’ on.